Extract of Amal Basry speaking with Helen Lobato

Everybody in that boat they have dreams. They want to live, they want to go to school... I hear some girl she told me 'If I arrive in Australia I want to go to school'

And some little boy he told me 'I want to buy computer and I want to learn how can I send a letter to my family in Iraq.'

This is many, many people told me about their dream. So I am very angry because I told you the water of the ocean killed their dream. So it is very great tragedy if you have a dream and somebody kill this dream. And the smuggler now he is free and there is nobody punish him. Believe me I am very sick. I feel so so bad. I all time have a bad dream about this accident. All time I see myself I still in the ocean and I want some help. All time I feel from everything all time I feel am afraid from anything when I go out.

You can't imagine what happened to me. Maybe somebody told me 'You are lucky because you are a survivor. I told them 'No! I am not lucky. I lost something in myself in this accident.'

[snip]

I tried maybe before one year's ago to travel to Australia but on the way to the Christmas Island we got an accident. Our boat was sank. And I travelled with maybe 418 people and the victims maybe around 375 people. The victims from the children they have a nice dream about Australia and also the women who have a nice dream about Australia.

[snip] The water of the ocean killed their dreams. They want to live here. But you know - what happened to us, you can't imagine what happened to us. There are maybe 375 people they died in this accident. There's many, many people. You can't imagine what happened when this boat sank. When I opened my eyes I threw myself down in the ocean, maybe 20 metres down. I say 'Why they hurt us? Why the smugglers lie?' What happened to us? I have a child. I want to do something [for] my children. I didn't see my daughter about maybe 7 years ago. I didn't see her. I didn't see my son maybe three years ago. So I have something to do. So I move my arms and I go up... And I touch the woman - she died. Her body fall up in the ocean. I touch her body and she save me. And the first time I saw my son - he's with me. He told me 'Mother, we're going to die' I told him 'No, don't say that.' And he told me 'Mother, please come... I want to kiss you, the last kiss because we [are going] to die.' So I tried to go beside him and he kissed me and he told me 'Mother please forgive me. Maybe I [did] something bad to you.' I told him 'No.' He didn't do anything [bad].

And the waves take me alone. I'm still alone. The sun, the rain, the rain, and it's very cold. And in the night I saw three lights. I told myself 'My hope! Maybe they save me. Somebody save me.' I shout 'Help! Help!' but there is nobody [to] help me. I try to swim to these lights but I can't because the waves took me back and the ocean [is] very angry.

So I tried, I tried but when the light of the morning come and there is nobody [to] help me I ask my God to kill me because I want to die. I am very tired. And in that time I heard some ships, the motor of the ship. I notice I saw some... Indonesian ships save me... The first time I didn't see my son on this boat. I told them, I cry, I shout 'My son die! My son die!' Someone from the survivors told me 'No, no your son he didn't die. I saw him before half hour.' So we tried to find him and finally we found him with a little wood believe me with ten persons.

[snip] And when they help my son and when they saved my son I kiss their hand because I am very happy when I see my son. We are 45 survivors. All the rest die.

You didn't imagine what happened. When this accident happened everybody threw themselves down and after that I go up... everybody shout. This is something like the door opened from the Hell. Everybody shout, shout, shout. Somebody say 'My son and my wife and my daughter die!' Some woman say 'My husband, my child they die!' Everybody shout! Everybody shout!

But after maybe half hour, everything quiet... just the thunder from the water of the ocean. Everything quiet and I am alone with the body of some woman she died and I still alone until the fisherman save me.

[snip]