Those sheep
by Kate Wildermuth, Marilyn Shepherd and Anon. from Armidale
September - October 2003

Let's move forward to the next election campaign. Is it possible that now the flow of asylum seekers has dried up the Howard Government will turn it's attention to sheep?

We can picture the campaign:

  1. The sheep will be accused of throwing their lambs overboard. The government will say that they have photos and a video as absolute proof it happened. We'll be told that these are not the type of sheep to be allowed into Australia. There will be statements such as 'they will never set hoof on our shores'.

  2. They'll be accused of being queue jumping sheep. What about all the other sheep in the sheep camps waiting to be allowed in?

  3. They'll claim that if we take these sheep we'll be swamped by thousands of others wanting to come here. Merino Vanstone will present statistics to show that Australia is the most generous of all towards refugee sheep.

  4. The sheep will be attacked for not having passports and proper documentation or having thrown it overboard.

  5. We'll be told that it is cruel to allow the sheep out of detention on the ship so they can do what normal lambs do. Merino Vanstone will say the detention of the lambs is for their own good so they won't be disappointed when she locks them up again.

  6. We'll be told that locking them up is necessary because it will deter others.

  7. They'll say that these sheep paid sheeple smugglers. They must be wealthy sheep. Genuine sheep don't pay smugglers.

  8. We'll hear how a plane flew directly over the boat containing the sheep but saw nothing.

  9. The sheep will be accused of being potential terrorists with links to Osama Baa Laden.

  10. They'll say these sheep could not possibly love their lambs. Why on earth would they not stay on a strife torn farm if they loved them?

  11. We'll be told they could be hiding weapons under their wool.

  12. The media will be told not to photograph them or it will sheepify them.

  13. We'll be told that they only had lambs to blackmail the government.

  14. NZ will take them - they can't get enough of 'em.

  15. They'll be accused of trying to take advantage of our limited grass and then bleating to the elite.

  16. The government will ram it home that they are so baaaaad that most of them will get the chop anyway and not to listen to the woolly thinking of the sheepitarians.

  17. Most Australians will follow like ...yep, you guessed it.

  18. And absolutely no-one will tell the PM.


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